"You're so l0-fi baby" "No, I'm just way cooler than you" - 15 Commandments for an Adequate Night on the Tiles - THE LAST ONE (no tears please)

1) Never ever dance to the Cribs.
2) Spanx all the way.
3) Ensure you have a totalitarian dictatorship over the DJ.
4) Less is more (in every sense).
5) Kiss as many children as possible.
6) Help the sisters no matter what.
7) Cry on the bar man.
8) Never mix wine colours.
9) Do not cry.
10) Shading collar bones is not a crime.
11) 2006 is a dirty word.
12) As is "lo-fi".
13) Always dry thighs.
14) A maximum of 20% of the night can be spent in the toilets. 
15) Bros before hoes.