Pals Plus

I watched this the other night when having a girly evening in with The Mother, The Cat and a ton of really yummy curry. It was fucking hilarious, to say the least. I'm now even more madly in love with both of them.
The Mother and I are going to send it (the DVD, not The Cat or the curry) in a care package, along with some limited edition Butterscotch Vaseline, to The Little Sister at uni. Lucky mite.

Messtivals

I miss messy festivals and fields and mud and cows and boys in bands and tents and picnics so freakin' much.

Toothpaste Kisses

Dedicated especially for my leggy lady (and of course, to Little Miss Birthday Brat - Penny Lainne).

All my love, forever ever more. 

I miss, part one

I miss sunshiney Pimms picnics on the castle tourist pit of a lawn, up by the sket hole that is BZR in Nottingham city centre.
I miss sharing a smile Nana Dawg as we smirked smugly at poor Wally, long before he lost himself in angular pretention. I remember the olives, the feta, the grease caught sneakily beneath the finger nails and the grimey sight of mediterranean herbs caught between your perfect teeth.
I miss the days of the haze. The warm pints of cider, sipped from crooked lips smeared with last night's lipstick and alcohol. I miss the days of the haze. The harsh discussions of literature, musicality, lyricism and film. European cinema was your forte baby, but I was, at the time, too vain to care, preferring instead the gossip surrounding my beloved Brooklyn boys, the bands and the bastards, the kisses and broken promises. I prefered the frosting to the sponge of your perfect non-birthday cake. You smothered your cheek bones with the moist sponge, whipped up for you in my frenzy of ever-ageing love and respect.

You're so worth my while. And baby girl, you always fucking will be.

Faults

I faulter.
I faulter, at your feet, I faulter.
Whose fault is this now? Who will you choose to blame?
I don't like the blame game. Joint effort, right? I'll faulter when making this decision.
My hesitancy will make me laughable to you, in yours eyes I am rendered a fool.
This will make a mockery of me. And yet, still, I will faulter. At your feet I shall fall. I shall be weak, as a child, starved of your love, your life, your kiss'.
I shall faulter before you, faulter before your love. You don't know how this hurts.

Really, really. You don't know how this hurts.

Nevereverneverevernevereverevensee

donoteverneverevereverneverletthembreakyoudownbabygirl.
donoteverevernevereverletthemseeyougiveintothepain,tothetears,thepain,thepoweroftheirwrath.
donoteverforgetthatiloveyoumorethantheworldandtheworldover,surfaceandtheinternaldepthsoftheearth'ssoulandpower.
iwillforeverbeyours.nevereverneverneverforgetthatbabygirl.
nevernevereverneverforgetthatyou'rethebestthingthat'shappenedtomostpeople'sliveswhenyoudelveintotheirhearts.youbreakpeopledownfromthemostcomplexofbeingsintoalistofthingsthatmatterandalistofthingsthatdomatter.
youaamazeme.youshallneverceasetodoso.
youshallneverceasetoexist.toconsumemymoralsandmysoulandmyheartandmysmileisyourroleinmylife.youaremysalvation.youaremyrealisation.
adoreyoualwaysandalways.neverevernevernevereverforgetthatbabygirl.yours.always.

sweetsweetdarlingone

sweetsweetdarlingone.mybeautifullittledarlinglovelygorgeouslittledarlingbabybabyboy.loverofthefools,galore.

howihavemissedyou.howihavemissedthee.thevoidyouleftbehindwhenyoubrokeyourwordsandleftmealoneforyearstoolong,ithashauntedandconsumedmyheartforfar,fartoolongalso.
yet,thesedaysitisyouwhoseeksmeout.whyso?tobetrue,idonotknow...
howitpleasesme,fuelsmewithajoyousgiddinessthatseemsallbutcontrollabletomethesedays.
ourloveshalllast,forever,fornever.it'sallaboutkeepingholdofthegoodstuff.trustme,baby.
itpainsmetorememberthehurt,thetears,thescarsyou'veleftupontheundersideofmytender,meltedheart.
thecrevicesofthosecutsrundeepintoyoursoul.youremain,evermore,eversure.
alwaysbabylove,babyboyofmine,childofsweettenderlight,ofgoldenlips,ofalovesopureyoudon'tletyourselfbeleive.
ishallalwaysalwaysalwaysandforeverlovethee.ishallalwaysbeyoursandyourfriendandyourfuckandyourloveandyourlover.
poetryisyourvoiceuponmyears.myjoyandsmileandcheekyslyfuckerofagrinthatfillsmyface,splittingmycheeksapartfrommyeyeswhenyousaymynamewithsuchbrightvivacitythatiknowyoushallalwaysbemine,alwaysbemineinloveandinlife.
youmeantheworldtome,youalwayshaveandshall.iholdyourheartinmyheart,toquotethosegoldenwords.ishallneverletgo.andifyouarepulledfromme,wrenchedfromyouranchoredshipwithinmychest,ishallstrivetoretreiveyouandyourworldandyoureyesandyourlipsandholdthemonceagain,inmyheart.ishallholdyouheartinmyheartandyoucarryyourloveonwardstowardsthelightthatforevergivestousasagiftofloveandlies.
youliedtome,andleftme,andgaveupalltoosoon,youknowit'strue.youknowmorethananythingthati'mright,andthati'mallyours,foralwaysandeverandi'llbetheupmostladyandloverandlifelongfriendtoyou,morethanevenyouandyourlittleheartandsmiledeserve.
yoursharp,whitenedteethrippedoutmythroat,butlifegaveyoubackallthepainandtearsandbloodyoudrankfromme,thegirlyouloveandhaveandholdholdsyoutoohardandtoofarfromthelightsoyouareblindedfromyourownselfworth.shebetrayedyourloveandyourlightandyourlust.choosinginsteadanaggressiveandangeringlyangularchin.sheisaworthlessfool.allowmetolookuponherface,thoseperfectcheekbones,andyouwillneverseeherfaceagainthewayyouholditinyourheart.butdarling,iholdyourheartinmyheartandcarryitbacktotheshipyouanchoredsolongagoinmyacheingopenchest.i'llbeyourforeverandalways,youshallbegivennoreasontoquestionthat.
thegirlremainsinyourheartsolelyasanunashamedexcuseforselfloathingandselfbelittlement.youhavenoideaofyourvalue,tome,toyourdearmother,totheworldandtheartthatsurroundsandconsumesyou.you'reworthmoretomethanbreathe,thanlightandlustandthatohtooeasytoacheiveorgasmandgigglethatnotonlyyoucanprovide...
and,revengemighttastesweet,it'salltoavailabletoyouandyourbeauty.notonlyfromsomeunsuspecting,highlyfoolish,highlyhighlightedandvacantspectreofagirlupnorth,butalsome.icouldbeyours,onceagain.rememberthetimes?thecarcrashes?themurders,themassacres,themortalityofmybeingbaredtoyoubetweenthesheetsofanother'sbed.notonlydoesthismemorydeservetoberemade,butyoudeservetofeelloved.don'tyou?

babyboy,babylove,loverboybaby,bemineoncemore?asafriendtoafriend?iloveyoumorethantheworldisworth,moreeventhanthat.morethanyouandyourprettylittleheadcouldknow,trustme.i'myours,sotakemeawayandhaveme.tastemyskinandknowthatyou'reworththatlovetenfold,tenthousandtimes.
revengesexishilariousgoodfunbaby,trustme...

Goodbye is too good a word

Get out of my head and get into my bed,
Forget all of the things that I ever said,
Forget all thoughtful actions like all romance is dead,
Replace all acts of kindness with a fuck you instead.
Forget about all occasions where I gave you my time,
Forget all the nights when we walked the line,
And me? I’ll drink you off my mind.
What I thought I saw,
Was the last remaining trace of a girl I knew before,
But now I know what I saw was just the shell in which she was encased,
Just an ugly girl with a pretty face.
So please leave my thoughts you are no longer wanted,
But you stick around like my mind is haunted,
With memories of you that I now have to re-assess,
Cos I thought you wanted my mind but your interest stopped at the flesh.
Maybe it was my own ego that made me assume,
That something set me apart from other guys in the room,
That there was a uniqueness in the situation between you and me,
But now I see I was just company.
I gave you a part of me and what I got in return,
Is a valuable lesson I hope to never re-learn,
Those who play with fire will inevitably get burned,
Goodbye is too good a word.

Wolfyboy

I think if you took the time to get to know me, you still wouldn’t know me at all,

your inflated sense of self worth makes everything around you seem so small.

You’ve tried all the coolest drugs and all the girls look your way,

but they’d forget you in a moment if they were with you for just one day.

Your interests are not your own but the hot list of that week,

your opinions, thoughts and arguments are always only skin deep.

You call yourself a Byronic hero but you’ve never read Byron,

This simple ignorance, defines your whole character and rings out like a siren,

To those with any education who speak to you for a good length of time,

but you’ll still fool those in passing with one seemingly knowledgeable line.

Your whole personality is this artificial creation,

Built on vague things you have heard with no substantiation.

Narcissism is not a character trait, it is the very essence of who you are,

but in this world of fakes and fools its likely you’ll go far.

I used to feel angry, rage at the situation,

I had violent thoughts to express my frustration,

Because I believed in my heart, that you could change,

Because there was once a person that I liked who shared your name,

You put on a front but this new person remained,

because once the core is rotten the whole apple is the same.

You can gloss up the outside make it seem fresh and new,

But dig a little deeper and I’m again faced with you.

So now, I can forget you exist, like you were blown away with the dust,

My emotions are no longer stirred by you, you lost your last bit of trust,

You could be gone for months and on your return my reaction would be the same,

as if you had walked out of the door and straight back in again.

You used to be a friend of mine but I’ve forgotten why,

I wouldn’t care if I never saw you again. I wouldn’t even say goodbye.

Again, he says it all.

Words&Pictures

So, my best friend reduced me to tears just now. I forgot how true and straight his words are, his voice hits home so hard with me. It aches.
Read this wisdom, learn the lessons that hurt, feel the pain that he's shared with me, know what love's worth.

I don’t want to wait in vain

I called you twice yesterday,

You answered the phone, but you didn’t have a lot to say

(Just yes and no)

I think it’s time I went away,

Think I should go.

Unless you’d rather that I stay,

Just let me know.

I DON’T WANT TO WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE

There are worse things than being alone,

Yet I sit here beside you, though your emotions are unknown,

I say ‘I love you’ but your feelings haven’t grown,

Like all allusions to commitment you’ve postponed.

I DON’T WANT TO WAIT IN VAIN FOR YOUR LOVE

I don’t want to wait in vain for your love,

But there’s a part of my heart that will never give up.

A chemical reaction that happens in my brain,

That screams out love, every time you say my name.

But at last I realise I now must fight it,

Or stagnate, whilst I wait, for a love that’s unrequited.

You’ve got to keep the hook moving if you want the fish to bite it.

I DON’T WANNA, I DON’T WANNA, I DON’T WANNA, I DON’T WANNA, I DON’T WANNA WAIT IN VAIN.

I hang around for an answer, as I say goodbye at your door,

A sign or a chance that just maybe you want more,

In the end it’s not an answer that I am waiting for,

There is a silence I can no longer ignore.

Read more here, kiddies.

Pretties

As is this one. I can certainly declare that I am more than proud to count this young lady among my nearest and dearest.

Bestmatez

Nana Dawg sent me this earlier "because she thought of me". Sound track to my life or what?
Yeah baby girl, you know me insideandout. Uhhn.

Aww, baby girl

Just invited an old and beloved friend up to stay with me whenever, think she's much in need of some escapism from foggy London...

And I attempted to entice her by saying that I'm a good host. She whole heartedly agreed, reminding me that I'm a bloody good host, I hand out drunken mini milks and everything.

Come stay with me ladies, fellas!

Always and eternal

Baby doll, darling, my one and only only one. Nana Dawg. Sexiest Old Maid on the shelf. Granny teapot. Mrs Earl Grey Tea Bag Tan.

I love you more every conversation we share. You can have every secret I possess. I'd give up the world if it'd make you happy.

Always. Forever.

And Bitch Please, be mine?

Bad Love

Me likey.

Oh, how I love thee

Baby Darlin', Doll face, Honey. I fucking miss you more than life itself these days.
The (once again) Loyal Minder misses her haggy Old Maid terribly. Be mine?

Waaaah

The (not-so) Loyal Minder is missing her dearly beloved Old Maid.
The Loyal Minder wishes that her one and only would come to Birmingham to light up her life and reek havoc about Digbeth and Snobs with her. It'd be a hilarious travesty, once again.


Big love.